When You Get Tired of Your Own Bullshit (My Wellness Journey Part 1)
Over the last few weeks some of you who follow me on Instagram might have noticed some changes. A lot of you have told me, this! I have noticed them, too. Let me tell you, it’s been a journey to get to where I’m at, and I still have a ways to go if I’m being honest. Since this has been such a hot topic lately in my DM’s, I thought I would share some of the updates I have made in my personal life regarding my health, fitness routine, and overall wellness mindset. I am hoping to do this in a few parts so bear with me! It is also worth noting that this is 100% a no judgement zone. I am here to simply tell my story in hopes that someone else can relate to it. My story is my story and my feelings are my feelings. Please be kind.
A Little Back Story:
Something I have not talked to you guys about was how difficult it was for me gaining weight during pregnancy. It was something that really affected me mentally. I knew that my body was growing a tiny human and changes would take place, but I honestly was not mentally prepared for them. Flash forward to a year, two, or even three years later, I had no idea I would still be struggling to “lose the baby weight.” Maybe you can relate? On top of that I’m living in this world of social media where it just seems like everyone else that had a baby the same time as me bounced back within months of giving birth. GOOD FOR THEM! I truly mean that. But where did it leave me? I felt defeated and frustrated and really down on myself. It’s truly been a battle for me. A battle that I did not anticipate given how active my lifestyle was prior to having a baby. I was fit, I worked out, and I ate healthy. Little did I know, the exhaustion from motherhood and lack of sleep, hormone adjustments that seemed constant (I breastfed until 2 years old), I had hardly any energy left to work out. With constant hormone fluctuations and the added stress of being a new mom, eating healthy wasn’t happening either. Additionally, I began to stress eat and increased my wine intake to cope with everything going on in my life, both personally and as a mother. It was truly a tough couple years that led me to a really dark place in my life. I was so unhappy, miserable, and depressed. Some days I just didn’t even want to get out of bed.
At first it was all the newness of motherhood and stress, of course. Then it was exhaustion– if you were around you might remember that Charlie didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3 years old (YIKES). I finally got to the point where I just had to push myself no matter how tired or what “excuse” I was coming up with, but nothing was changing. It wasn’t for lack of trying- I really did at that point. I even saw a functional medicine doctor thinking there really had to be something going on with me. That’s a whole different story- but basically there wasn’t.
It honestly took me forever to even talk about some of this because I almost felt silly for being in such a negative space from gaining weight. It seemed so vain. The truth is, it wasn’t just about the weight. It was ALL of the changes I had gone through, compiled on top of one another. It was the lack of sleep, the constant hormone changes, the daily changes from your child growing and changing and adjusting to that change. While all of that is beautiful and I am beyond grateful to get to experience the gift of motherhood, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies.
One day, I woke up and I was fed up with my own bullshit- really it’s not bullshit. My feelings were very real, but in order for me to regain my happiness- and MY HAPPINESS alone, I needed to make changes. That was the ONLY way I was going to succeed in getting what I needed to make me happy. It was what I needed to make me feel like myself again. This was crucial to me. When I’m happy and feeling like my best self then I am a better mother, a better wife, and friend.
I’m going to share a few things that I have been doing that helped me. I feel like I need to put out there a full disclosure that I am not an expert in any of these things and one plan is not a one size fits all- everyone’s body is different and has different needs. Most of this really comes down to dedication and commitment (and being tired of your own bullshit). These things are what I have researched on my own in hopes to make progress on my health and wellness journey is what I am going to call it. The thing to remember is finding what makes you tick- what makes you feel good? What makes you feel like your best self. If it’s working your ass off in the gym to release stress or just to lose weight – DO IT. If it’s having a girls’ night and drinking a bottle of wine once a month, DO IT. If it’s putting on some lingerie and having a sexy evening with your spouse, DO IT. Whatever it is that makes you feel like you- don’t feel guilty for doing it.
Since my story has a lot to do about my weight and working out a lot of the next two blog posts will be about those topics. It’s something I’m very passionate about and have always enjoyed working out and living a healthy lifestyle. Here are a few things I started with in terms of my diet in order to reset myself (this is also a commonly asked question in my DM’s so I’m sharing):
- Juice Cleanse- Never in a million years did I think I would do a juice cleanse. Honestly, I wouldn’t even call this a juice cleanse, more of a reset diet that involved a lot of juice. This is the cleanse I used and I’m not going to even say I ENJOYED it- because who says that? What I will say is that I was able to actually reset and become more in tune with my body. It was difficult, but I’m truly happy I did it. TIP: Do it with a friend so you can support each other.
- Celery Juice- I had already bought a juicer for above, so I decided to keep the juicing going with celery juice. I read so many benefits to drinking celery juice and healing your gut, I thought why not give it a try? I actually don’t mind the taste of it at all. It’s kind of sweet. I drink 16 oz of celery juice first thing in the morning before having a cup of coffee.
- Intermittent Fasting- This was a new one to me as well, but I believe a crucial key in getting me back on track. I would eat so well throughout the day, but by the end of the evening I would just start snacking and completely diminish everything I accomplished that day. Once I started intermittent fasting, I would stop eating by 7pm in the evening and not eat anything until 11 AM the next day. The only thing I would have prior to 11 AM was celery juice and a coffee. This eliminated so many unnecessary calories for me.
- Paleo Diet- I was so against going paleo- it seemed so restrictive. Basically a paleo diet eliminates processed foods, grains, refined sugars, and dairy. Dairy actually always had negative effects on me since I turned 30, so that part wasn’t that difficult to continue to eliminate. The first month was actually really hard. The second month became easier and I actually started to seeing some weight come off with the combination of these 4 things. I felt good about my progress so I actually went about 80% paleo. I don’t like to completely restrict myself, but I try my hardest to remain paleo the majority of the time.
Wow.. that actually felt good getting all of that out. Don’t worry there is more to come! I’ve met some amazing people along this journey who have helped push me out of my comfort zone, educate and guide me. I can’t wait to share them with you.
Photography by: Julie Kahlbaugh